2013

I totally stole this from Melinda because I loved it. Short and sweet. Enjoy. 


Name: Rachel

Age: 23

Favorite Color this year:  Navy blue

Favorite Food this year: Cafe Rio anything

Favorite activity: Reading 

Favorite Book: Georgiana 

Greatest Lesson learned: These things are but a small moment

Hardest thing this year: Getting dumped.

Favorite Memory: Spending my birthday in Kentucky 

What I loved about 2013: How much closer we became as a family

Looking forward to 2014:  Best friend's wedding! 

Want to learn: 

Want to get better at: Studying the scriptures 

Goals for 2014: Pray on my knees. Drink less Dr. Pepper. Make 5 Pioneer Woman recipes. 

Easter

Things I'm grateful for today:

1. My wonderful family, immediate and extended.

2. The love of my Savior

3. The sunshine.

4. The sacrament.

5. Adorable primary kids singing about Jesus.

6. Pretty choir songs.

7. Turkey dinner instead of ham.

8. My grandmother's optimism and example.

9. The scriptures.

10. The ability to learn and comprehend.

Grateful

Stuff I'm grateful for today:

1. Journal writing

2. The gospel

3. My family, especially my sisters.

4. My job

5. My college degree

6. Prayer

7. Sunshine

8. Fantastic friends

9. My dogs

10. My books

Two worst things in the world:

1. Applying for 1,000,000,000 jobs and not getting ONE phone call for an interview.

2. A dog farting in your face.

Unfortunately, both have happened to me in the last 24 hours.

Here I am. Sitting in the library waiting for my next class to start. Surrounded by the smell of coffee that I don't drink and books that I need to read. Just like freshman year. Except this time it's my last first day of school here. This time I'm more experienced. I know where I am. I have a job. I had a conversation with one of my professors that knows me. I even gave someone directions. And yet I feel kind of sad. I feel like life is moving on without me and I'm not ready for it. Do you ever get comfortable just as everything changes? That's me right now. The last three years of my life have been lived here. I've worked and studied and preservered toward this end and I don't even know if I'm ready for it. And so I sit. Waiting for the next adventure. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for myself to catch up.

Confessions of a Gilmore Girl Wannabe

Reasons why I'm like Rory Gilmore:

1. I love to read.
2. I'm an English Major.
3. I'm a relationship girl, not a dater.
4. I love my mother.
5. I didn't marry my college boyfriend at the end of my college career.

Reasons why I'm not like Rory Gilmore:

1. I hate to write.
2. I'm a Mormon.
3. I never took a break from college.
4. I don't know what to do after college.
5. My name is Rachel.

Alas my friends I have updated the formatting of my blog. It was desperately needed and I quite like the new look. I don't really know what to write about today. I am doing summer school again so my time is very full of homework and summer social activity. My family also got a new doggy. Her name is Lolli and she is ridiculously cute and sweet. She watches the tv like a person and she barks when animals come on and commercials. I already love her! That's what's going on around here! Bear Lake is t-minus seven days. I'm so excited I could pee. The end.

Thoughts from the library...

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself when I forget that God knows me. It is almost hilarious every time I remember that he does. It happens on the days that I feel lost, lonely, unworthy, unhappy and all other un-words in the dictionary.

I don’t have those experiences where my scriptures fall open to the perfect verse that changes my life. That would be too easy. My experiences are way less private. Mine always happen in a public setting where the world can see me bawling my eyes out. It’s grand fun.

The one I remember vividly happened not too long ago. I was 19. As I walked into the patriarch’s house to get my patriarchal blessing I turned to my parents and said:

“My blessing is going to be like ‘You’ll never get married and you will die young. Enjoy your cats.’” They rolled their eyes and laughed at me as we went inside.

Oh heavens I was so so so so wrong. My blessing lined out the exact opposite of what I had just said moments before in the driveway. It talks about missionary work, my marriage in the temple, my family, my testimony, and my long life. I can only laugh. Not only did it prove to me that God listens to me even when I’m complaining in the driveway but that He knows me. He knows my heart and my desires. He knows exactly who I am and what I am going to be if I live what I have been taught. It also proved to me that God has a sense of humor that is extremely apparent in my life.

He is there. He knows. He is listening. He is watching, always watching.

Thursdays

I have always hated Thursdays. Pretty much everything that hasn't been so fine in my life has happened on a Thursday. It's a just a blah day, no?

Today is no exception. I just turned in a paper that is one page and one source short. I am embarrassed. I am sad. I definitely need summer and a new book to get me over this semester.

And this.

Oh, and this:

Pre Finals Week Post

Oh boy I still have so much to do. I am crraavvviinnnggg summer so badly it's not even funny. It's definitely time for some sunshine and a good tan line to go with it.

I took this picture at Bear Lake last year. I found that rock on the right and thought it looked like a heart. I got all artsy fartsy and took a cute picture of it. It reminds me of last summer at Bear Lake and just being happy because the sun was out!

We'll get there. Just three more research papers, three more final tests, two more presentations........

miracles and lessons learned

"Being human, we would expel from our lives physical pain and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort, but if we were to close the doors upon sorrow and distress, we might be excluding our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery. …The sufferings of our Savior were part of his education."

Spencer W. Kimball

My grandmother is now part of the 20%. To read my aunt's post about it go here.

 

It's truly amazing what the Lord gives us so that we can learn.

Some people like to think that God doesn't give us trials. Based on this quote, I think he does sometimes, and he does it out of love. He obviously wants us to learn something from this life and we learn our best when we struggle. We learn from our mistakes. We learn from our trials. 

It's all in our attitude friends. If we choose to remember his love for us and his desire for our happiness and return to him, then we will be able to see the lesson in the labor. 

In Need of a Hobby: Inspiration from Julie Powell and Julia Child

Last night I stayed up until two watching Julie and Julia. It really inspired me in that Julie Powell needed something to do so she could get out of her rut. That is exactly what I need! A new hobby.

My entire life reading was my hobby. But then I decided to make that my career so it's not a hobby anymore. I still love it, don't get me wrong, but I need something different.

I just don't know what....
Cooking? Exercising? Sewing? I don't even know.

I think I will be completely unoriginal and try the cooking thing...it can't hurt right?

my new favorite show

Am I obsessed? Only a little.

My Mother

Yesterday was the second anniversary of my mommy's 23rd birthday! 

I love my mother very much. She has taught me everything I need to know about being a decent human being (like chewing with my mouth closed and being nice to people). 

I envy her ability to quilt. It is absolutely magical the way she can see the colors of the fabric and how they go together. And that's only the beginning. It's a whole new level once she actually sews them together. My mother makes art and she does it well.

 My mother is also very courageous and strong. She has had to deal with things from heartache to stupid people and she does it with class and style. 

 She chews ice in the morning while she reads her quilting blogs. It's annoying as heck but I love her for it because it means she's there, being my mommy just how I like her. 

 I remember the first time I heard my Mother bear her testimony in sacrament meeting. I was so proud and I felt so blessed to have her as my mommy. She did everything she could to raise me in the gospel. She made sure we knew that church was important. 

 Most of all I love my mom's sense of humor. She always has something funny to say. I think my favorite of all time was "On Sundays at church when the crazy people start to talk, it's the worst! The spirit gets to leave but everyone else is stuck there!" I also enjoy that she has embraced the "Deb-Tina" nickname that her children have dubbed her. She gets funnier every day. 

 I love my mommy and am very grateful for everything she does for me and my family. She is my favorite support and constant friend. Happy birthday Deb-Tina!!!!

My (lack of) New Years Resolution

I get it.

New year's was forever ago.

However, I have decided that New Year's resolutions are a stupid idea for us forgetful ones (I'm serious. My memory is almost nonexistent).

So I didn't make any.

Resolutions that is, not babies.

My Grandmother's Hair

My grandmother is going through chemotherapy. She has uterine cancer. Chemotherapy means no hair. My entire life everyone that I have ever met has known my grandmother by her hair. For example: my fifth grade school program went like this. "oh my grandma is here!" "is your grandma the lady with the big blonde hair?" "yes" "her hair is way cool!" Ok so maybe not word for word but you get the idea. Her hair has been many styles. Always trendy and always always beautiful. Her hair is part of her. Always big and blonde. And now it's going to be gone. And I am weirded out. And then I remember what this all means. Her hair being gone means she is willing to fight no matter what. It means she is going to be bigger than life by fighting death, just like her hair. And that's how I know everything will be ok. Because she is powerful like her hair. She is important. She is strong. She is amazing.

If you ever want to cry...

Watch the "I'm a Mormon" videos from Mormon.org. Wanna feel uplifted? Watch the "I'm a Mormon" videos from Mormon.org.

If you haven't been to Mormon.org, do so. It is great.

I love watching these videos because it is so uplifting to see people living with the gospel as the priority in their lives. It's amazing.

Here's a good one to get you started:

This is the lead singer from the Killers, Brandon Flowers. Amazing testimony about having children and not "outgrowing" the church.

Love.

Rachel vs. The World

I am currently involved in an epic battle. Ok, not epic. Just a battle.

UTA is the bane of my existence. I absolutely hate taking the bus. But my lack of a car situation requires that I do so. At UVU you can buy a discounted bus pass for being a student. I purchased a pass my freshman year and renewed it my sophomore year. So imagine my fury when I went to take the bus to work last week and my pass didn't work. So today, I went to campus connection at my school to figure out what the problem was.

Flashback to January...

After attending a friends birthday party, I lost my pass and had to get a new one. I went to campus connection. They made me pay for a new pass ($20) because they have no record of which students have previously bought passes (which is absolutely ridiculous that they have no record of the transactions that they do! They are taking people's money they should know exactly who paid for what!!). I paid and went on my way with the promise of a new pass.

Let's look at the definition of the word "new": not existing before, recent, discovered recently or for the first time.

Therefore the pass I paid for in January was a brand new pass that expires in JANUARY because I had to get a brand new card. 


Now, move your minds forward to today:

I walked over to campus connection and the girl there informed me (for the first time ever I might add) that all bus passes expire on September 15th regardless of when they were purchased. Also, it is UTA's policy "not ours" that passes are paid for by the card, not by the person.

W T POO

She also said that her manager could help me if I would like to talk to her. I said I would. So we went to the manager's office and I had a nice little chat...or rather, she did.

She gave me this 10 minute speech on how she trains her people to tell each customer the above information  and has advertised the bus pass expiration date all over the school. Obviously this is not the case because in the 3 times I have paid for a bus pass I never once was informed of their policies or the expiration date of my bus pass nor have I ever seen a flier or advertisement about any sort of expiration date. However it was advertised that your bus pass was good for a whole year without explaining the conditions.

I demanded that I get my $20 back. I paid for a new pass that was advertised to be good for a year and I assumed my pass would work until next January.

She couldn't help me. Instead she suggested that I take it up with the Dean of Students so he can approve it and I can get my money back. But he has to approve it. Which means I have to fill out a form, meet with him, explain my situation, etc. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP!

I was fuming! I cannot believe the lack of customer service and complete disregard for my situation. They do not understand their student demographic at all! We are starving students. I don't currently have a car in my possession so the bus is my main form of transportation. With the rising cost of tuition, books, and living expenses I don't have the means to pay for a $40 (yeah they raised the price of that too!) pass that I HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR! 

Not to sound like the newspaper kid from Better Off Dead, but I want my $20. 

I will win. I promise. I must win. 

e.e. cummings

The joys of being an English major:

dive for dreams

or a slogan may topple you

(trees are their roots

and wind is wind) 

trust your heart

if the seas catch fire

(and live by love

though the stars walk backward) 

honour the past

but welcome the future

(and dance your death

away at the wedding) 

never mind a world

with its villains or heroes

(for good likes girls

and tomorrow and the earth) 

in spite of everything

which breathes and moves, since Doom

(with white longest hands

neating each crease)

will smooth entirely our minds 

-before leaving my room

i turn, and (stooping

through the morning) kiss

this pillow, dear

where our heads lived and were.

And...

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience, your eys have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the colour of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes 

and opens;only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Beef

A girl in one of my classes today told me that I look 18. Of course she was bragging that she was so organized because she is 26 and has been going to school since 2004. 

She made me angry. I am not 18. I haven't been 18 for three years. You know what I have to say to that?

I'm 21, I have been going to school since 2009 and I have a year left. Suck it Earth!

You would tell me if I looked 18 right?

On a lighter note,

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I had a good day.

Also, I now have 40 pairs of shoes. Can you say addiction?