Name's Barf. I'm a mog, half man half dog. I"m my own best friend.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Thoughts from the library...

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself when I forget that God knows me. It is almost hilarious every time I remember that he does. It happens on the days that I feel lost, lonely, unworthy, unhappy and all other un-words in the dictionary.

I don’t have those experiences where my scriptures fall open to the perfect verse that changes my life. That would be too easy. My experiences are way less private. Mine always happen in a public setting where the world can see me bawling my eyes out. It’s grand fun.

The one I remember vividly happened not too long ago. I was 19. As I walked into the patriarch’s house to get my patriarchal blessing I turned to my parents and said:

“My blessing is going to be like ‘You’ll never get married and you will die young. Enjoy your cats.’” They rolled their eyes and laughed at me as we went inside.

Oh heavens I was so so so so wrong. My blessing lined out the exact opposite of what I had just said moments before in the driveway. It talks about missionary work, my marriage in the temple, my family, my testimony, and my long life. I can only laugh. Not only did it prove to me that God listens to me even when I’m complaining in the driveway but that He knows me. He knows my heart and my desires. He knows exactly who I am and what I am going to be if I live what I have been taught. It also proved to me that God has a sense of humor that is extremely apparent in my life.

He is there. He knows. He is listening. He is watching, always watching.