Name's Barf. I'm a mog, half man half dog. I"m my own best friend.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

So, I finished The Bell Jar.

You know when you take a psychology class and the teacher tells you all the symptoms of a certain mental disorder and you start freaking out because you realize that you have all of these symptoms?

That's what this book does.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great book. I would read again in a heartbeat.

But it make you feel a little crazy. And that's what I think Silvia Plath was trying to do.

Oddly enough, this work is autobiographical............
Makes sense, the woman did stick her head in the oven.

Spiritual Thought here:

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Summer Reading

A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy.
~Edward P. Morgan

My summer has officially begun! Summer to me always means here is what I will be reading this summer!

1. The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
2. Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage
3. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (BTW June 30th is the 75th anniversary of this book!!)
4. Little Women by Lousia May Alcott (surprisingly I have never actually read this, but I saw the movie with Winona Ryder and I liked it!!)
5. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner (I actually tried reading this last summer but it was really hard to I am going to try and plow through this summer!)

I am planning on finishing all of them. I'm sooooo excited!

What are you reading this summer?

Friday, June 24, 2011

FINISHED!!!...with summer semester.

Today I took my last final for the summer! Thank heaven! It's time to focus on Bear Lake, the Bees Game, Lagoon, extensively using my Pass of All Passes, and just relaxing during the next three months because heaven know the next 6 are going to be freezing and miserable! Welcome to Utah.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

ENG 3520- Literature of the American Renaissance

Sounds exciting right? Mostly wrong! This class is a dud. I have to take it though; thank heaven it was only for 7 weeks instead of three months. The only exciting thing about it is that we have studied Emily Dickinson. I am fascinated by her. If you don't know who she is you didn't listen in your high school English class.

Emily Dickinson is one of the most famous American poets that ever lived. Oddly enough, during her lifetime she only published like 5 poems but she wrote over 1,700 poems. Dickinson's life was largely a mystery despite all of the letters and poems we have from her. Scholars argue whether she was agoraphobic or not and what her religious beliefs were. She was extremely mysterious and was even called "The Woman in White" and "The Myth" by her contemporaries. I highly recommend you research her because she is a great piece in the history of American Literature.

Emily Dickinson's poetry was extremely eccentric for her time. And I love it. I almost cried today when I was reading it because it was so beautiful. I would like to share some of my favorites....humor me, I'm an English Major.

I dwell in Possibility-
A fairer House than Prose-
More numerous of Windows-
Superior-for Doors-

Of Chambers as the Cedars-
Impregnable of eye-
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky-

Of Visitors-the fairest-
For Occupation-This-
The spreading wide my narrow hands
To gather Paradise-

Should you but fail at- Sea-
In sight of me-
Or doomed lie-
Next Sun-to die-
Or rap-at Paradise-unheard-
I'd harass God-
Until He let you in!

I held a Jewel in my fingers-
And went to sleep-
The day was warm, and winds were prosy-
I said "'Twill keep"-

I woke-and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone-
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own-

Wonderful day. Spiritual thought here:

Also, if you haven't created a profile, I think it would be a good idea for everyone! I did mine today and it's a great opportunity to share your testimony and be part of the Church's missionary work! DO IT!!!!!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My Dad

My dad is my best friend. He and I are the same soul. I know that sounds weird, but its true. We look alike, we think alike, we act alike...everything I know about life I learned from my dad.

Two major life things I have learned from my father: how to read and how to endure.
I learned to read really young. I was the only one in my kindergarten class who knew how and I felt pretty special. I always saw my dad reading. He took me to get my library card for the Davis County Library. I followed his example checking out book after book after book! I remember when the Harry Potter books came out, I would read them and then he would and we would talk about how amazing they were! When the fourth one came out, I remember he came home from work and handed it to me so I could read it during our vacation to Bear Lake. I love to read because I learned it from my father.

My dad also showed me how to endure and rely on the Lord, especially through the hard times. My father has an MBA from BYU and is so smart. He knows exactly how to work with people and what to do in times of crisis. When I was in 8th grade he lost his job at Franklin Covey. This was a hard blow to our family. We didn't have any money and we had to figure out how to live. My father endured. We kept going to church and doing the best we could to do what was right. It was the only thing we could do. Then, he got a job. Then 3 weeks later the company went bankrupt and he lost that job. Then when I was a sophomore in high school, he began doing consulting work for his friends company and eventually they created a job for him. He worked there until my senior year of high school, and once again, the company downsized and we were left in the dust. Left in the dust for two years. And then once again, an opportunity arose. A new job, and he took it. So far it has worked out. So far it has been wonderful.
These times were an emotional roller coaster. It's extremely difficult to be happy then devastated all in a short period of time. It's completely exhausting to go up and down like that. The only way to move on is through the Savior. The only way to keep going is the Atonement. My dad showed me that. He went through absolute hell. He beat himself up, he sacrificed everything, he did all he could for two years. He pursued and stayed true to what he believed in. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the only thing that has carried my family and my father was the best example of how to live it without deviation.

My dad is the funny guy. He always has a joke and he looovvveeesss to practice them on us. I love telling the jokes he comes up with to other people because then I get to smile and feel that connection with my dad. He knows how to do everything. He fixes sprinklers, electricity, he installs appliances, he puts in tile and wood flooring, he has the coolest latest phone, he knows how to program a television. He is the greatest at knowing how things work and how to fix them.

My dad also taught me how to play golf. I distinctly remember him standing behind me helping me swing his driver in the front yard. He was always (and is still always) watching the tournaments on the t.v. teaching us all the names of the players and telling us who is good and who isn't. He took us golfing at the little Bear Lake golf course and celebrated with me when I got my first birdie. He encouraged my sister and me to do the girls golf team in high school. I remember in one tournament at Eagle Mountain in Brigham City, I made my putt and looked up and there was a strange man standing at the edge of the green. I realized that it was my dad and that he had driven all the way up from Bountiful to watch my sister and me play.

My father is a great teacher. He is my hero, my favorite person in the world. I could not live without him. His bright blue eyes and big friendly smile are the greatest sight in the world whenever I come home. I am so lucky and so blessed to have such a father. You all should be jealous. I love you dad!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Seemingly bad, but actually good

Yesterday and today seemed completely awful to the average eye:

Bad Things That Happened Yesterday

1. I was harassed by Becca to give her the money I owed her (this would have been fine if she hadn't already asked me 12 TIMES the night before)!

2. I had to miss my first class so I could finish my paper.

3. Becca reminded me that we had cleaning checks and I had to scramble to make my bed which made me miss the bus to school.

4. I missed the bus to school. See #3.

5. The people who peer edited my paper in my American Literature class ripped it apart which caused numbness to the point that I don't really remember walking to the bus stop.

6. I had to go to work. This wouldn't be bad except I kind of hate my job. They treat me bad there.

and then today....

1. I woke up late which caused me to contemplate missing class which would mean missing a quiz. This contemplation took 20 minutes which made me even more late and I had to take a later bus.

2. I was late to class.

3. I had to take my geology test. And pay $3 to take it.

4. I failed my geology test. I'm not kidding. I really did get an unacceptable grade.

In spite of all of these bad things, I have decided to stay positive. It's the only thing I can do (other than rely on the Lord). That's when I realized that these two days have been a learning experience for me. I got to experience bad things so I could feel the Spirit give me peace and so I could learn to trust the Lord a little more.

Good things that happened:

1. I finished a draft of my paper which makes it way less stressful to turn in the final thing. And I got to make it better. And the Spirit led me to another source that would give me more credibility.

2. As I walked back from the testing center about to cry I felt the Spirit tell me that everything would be ok. I know now what I need to do to get a passing grade on the next test and to keep working hard in the class. It will all be worth it in the end.

3. I have found time to read the Conference Ensign. I am almost done with reading it cover to cover and I can't wait to keep studying it and go back to my favorite talks.

4. I have a special job in my ward right now where I have been asked to go to the temple once a week for 6 weeks. I can't wait to go either today or tomorrow. Attending the temple will definitely help me with school no doubt about it.

5. An opportunity to apply for a better job came up. Hopefully I get it because of course I am perfect for it and it's perfect for me! Pray for me por favor!

Be positive! Everything will work out the way it's supposed to if you are doing what is right! That is a guarantee!!!!

Love, Rachel.

P.S. i was uploading my pictures today and I accidentally took this gem: